HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

By Dale Carnegie

PART 1-FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE

Principle 1- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain

• If you want to gather honey, Don’t kick the beehive

• By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.

This resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize friends ,employees and family members, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.

Principle 2-Give honest and Sincere appreciation

• Lincoln once began a letter by saying: Everybody likes a compliment.

• William James said: The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.

• But understand the difference between appreciation and flattery.

• Appreciation comes from heart is sincere and universally admired while flattery comes out of mouth is insincere and universally condemned.

• Remember words from General Obregon’s philosophy- Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of friends of the friends who flatter you.

Principle 3- Arouse in the other person an eager want.

• By Dale Carnegie: “Personally I am found of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. Rather, I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: ‘ Would you like to have that? Why not use the same common sense when fishing the people?”

• The only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants.

• ‘ If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see that person’s angle as well as from your own.’