The Student Handjob

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description

so radical it's fucking bodacious

Transcript of The Student Handjob

Page 1: The Student Handjob

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Page 17: The Student Handjob

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Depression.

Much is said of how to cope with depression. How to survive it, deal with

it, manage it. How to see a light/carrot at the end of the tunnel. Nothing

much is said of the tunnel itself.

Do things you enjoy, share your feelings with loved ones, take each day as

it comes, listen to Tony Robbins while you sleep… What use is this advice

when relationships with family, friends, teachers, are so thoroughly

colonised by the forms of sociability and production which lead to these

feelings in the first place? How do you deal with the fact that your family

is investing in you and expect a return? Or that the state no longer sees

you as worth the investment, except as a producer of perpetual debt?

How can we cope with the subtle yet enforced competition against our

friends for good marks? With being instructed by superiors in the proper

way to critique power? How can you answer family friends who ask what

you’re going to do with your arts degree?

Despite talk of the post-industrial West, we are still on the production line

– only the produce has changed. Instead of cars, toothpaste and toys we

produce desire, debt, careers and websites. And for those of us who still

insist on being bookish, we produce Academic Excellence. For what

purpose? IT research for efficiency. Medical research for profit and longer

(working) lives. Sociological research for coffee tables. And psychological

research for managing human resources. Psychology, via its current

favourite child Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, no longer has time to

impose its own fruity theories on our minds, but rather has been

employed to implement the most efficient, no-nonsense methods for

getting us back-up-and-running, working, writing essays, socialising,

carrying on. It tells us that negative feelings are solely a result of negative

thoughts. This theory has seeped into the HR imagination, where workers

are commanded to see forced redundancy “as an opportunity”, with the

pathological cheerfulness of a corporate team-building weekend.

I don't mean to write off CBT altogether – once a certain stage of

paralysis has been reached, changing the way you think can enable you to

imagine and to start to create different social and productive relations.

And that’s just the point. Why do we need well-meaning psych-grads with

sympathetic eyebrows asking us about our childhoods in six sessions?

(Only four during peak-times, such as exam-time – get in early!) What is

needed is a type of optimism that will cut through the powerlessness of

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that’s-the-way-it-is-deal-with-it oppression that will afford us an

emancipatory creativity and a rabid imagination. The depression and

alienation often felt when critiquing the systems which shape our lives is

symptomatic of our Human Centipede- education, with those in front of

us crapping in our mouths only for us to do the same to those behind us.

The idea that until some utopia magically appears we all have to be

drugged up to the eyeballs and be told what we're feeling and why is

deeply problematic. This model of being "guided" and "self" helped

(which never actually comes from your self, but rather from some expert)

is disheartening and only ever aims for personal, individual "happiness" -

that is, coping with an exploitative working life. I'm not trying to find a

cure or guide people through clinical depression - there are thousands of

bestsellers doing that. I'm saying that people can think for themselves

about the mechanisms of exploitation in which they find themselves and

organise collectively around that. To find that you, yourself, can articulate

your own experience without resorting to dictated psychology-

management speak can be more empowering than repeating self-

affirmation mantras cooked up by some self-appointed hack with an

expensive smile.

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Page 29: The Student Handjob

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Page 30: The Student Handjob

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#"

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##

Page 34: The Student Handjob

34

- Getting friendly with the neighbours is important too. Many people are

sympathetic and it is not uncommon for squatters to get local support.

Others will dislike you – often out of prejudice but don’t panic. Few

change their opinions overnight so a “fuck-you” attitude won’t get you

very far.

Squatting is time consuming and tiring, plus, it can be socially demanding

living with others in non-compartmentalised spaces. But ultimately

squatting can be hugely rewarding for your own housing needs but also

for the needs of others. Space everywhere is being enclosed. Squats can

open it back up. Consider how you might use a space. Could groups from

your Uni use a space for something? Putting on events, allowing groups

to meet and organise there, or even just offering a place for people to

hang together can all create a sense of belonging and social value that no

business can match. Space is precious so cherish and use it.

Crime, Episode 4: Ruth Rendell's Miami Vice (chancellor) in the Naked City

Ruth's a second year drama student, but her big vice is that she's lazy, she

can't get her act together essay-wise, particularly this latest one on gritty

situationist detective series, the Naked City. Luckily for her, all the way

from Miami is good old Agatha Christie, essay writer for hire. Christie, like

her athletic namesake has no qualms about cheating and luckily for her

this means she rakes in the cash come deadline day. Realising that her

own essays were of passable quality she found that it made sense to offer

her 'editing' and 'study support' skills to the posher, richer kids at college.

She advertised at Uni and used one of those online services pairing up

those hopeless writers with the semi-English literate who mastered the

magic formula of writing a half-decent 4000-word tirade... It was fine,

only the first and last paragraphs (or pages, if she was really (un)lucky)

actually ever got read. Now Ruth is happy and Christie can fulfil some

stereotypes with that extra wad for her lunchbox.

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Overqualified, Overworked and Un(der)paid – An Intern-shipping Forecast.

When you send something by ship it's called cargo. When you

send something by car it's called shipment. When you send

someone to fetch you a coffee it's called an internship.

Unpaid internships are illegal. All corporate entities are legally bound to

comply with the national minimum wage legislation. This does not apply

to not-for-profit organisations (even though many companies, such as

Serco, profit off volunteer work), hence the practice of politicians not

paying their staff. The other loophole is that you may be unpaid if it’s part

of a course placement.

For the past two decades the employability of graduates has been

integral to government agendas, with universities addressing the issue via

curricula and course design. But in the prevailing economic conditions

you might already be worried about your future and post-graduation

chances of getting a job in order to support and sustain yourself. As such

you might have chosen a degree that incorporates a practical element – a

work placement, an internship, or whatever they want to call it –

supposedly designed to give you a better chance of getting a job,

especially if you've never worked in a given profession before. It is

understandable why most people believe that a university degree,

particularly one that teaches some actual skills wanted by employers,

could feasibly be a foot on the first step of the so-called career ladder. It

is indeed true that some employers expect applicants to already have a

number of placements under their belt, even when applying for their first,

entry-level jobs. But still – what is practical? What are proper skills? What

is work? Who are these future employers? What even is a career? What

career do you want?

The debate around unpaid internships generally centres on social mobility

and the fact that for those from unprivileged backgrounds such

opportunities remain a closed game. Comments from our local (j)anus-

faced, neo-Thatcherite double-act illustrate the divisions and hypocrisy at

the heart of the problem. Tory prime minister, David Cameron and his Lib-

Dem deputy, Nick Clegg - or should that be the PM’s office intern? - have

been amongst those mouthing off, but also represent those for whom

private wealth meant never worrying about such things. Just as Clegg

criticised the idea of 'unpaid internships which favour the wealthy and

well-connected', announcing a new scheme promoting the maxim of

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39

'what you know, not who you know' (whilst trashing university education

for the poor and having taken lucrative advantage of such opportunities

himself), the PM candidly announced that he was fine with the idea of

giving internships to the progeny of his friends and neighbours. He said he

was 'quite relaxed' about the whole thing. If he relaxes any further his

heart may actually stop. No bad thing, you might speculate, but even so,

you may realise that in light of this, you're more than likely to be under

pressure to complete some unpaid internships yourself post- (or pre-)

graduation.

Unfortunately, last year's graduates are fighting for or already juggling a

couple of such internships alongside one or two precarious and

intermittent jobs. And let’s not forget the attendant denigration of

conditions – unpaid labour is a way to circumnavigate other employment

laws in place to protect workers. What used to be, in the 'good old days'

of job availability and stability, useful on-the-job training leading to a

permanent position is nowadays often spoken of as a necessary condition

of getting paid work, or even 'modern day slavery'. That might sound a bit

excessive, but that it is exploitative is beyond doubt. Legislation exists.

Enforcement, however, does not appear forthcoming. Mainstream politics

is in thrall to the very interests whose furtherance would least be served

by the ending of a culture of cheap, disposable labour.

Whilst individual institutions are clearly part of a far wider economic

reality, they cannot absolve themselves from responsibility - on the other

hand neither can you. You, too, are accepting the situation and

undercutting fellow workers. Previously when labourers were (often

literally) two a penny, unions and collectives were formed in order to

combat just such a situation. This solution seems remote however, within

our own diffuse, individualised reality. It is hard to imagine the

unionisation of interns within such a competitive and unstable framework.

And so, if hopes of solidarity and enforcement fail, with the traditional

weapons of the left undermined in the face of the new neoliberal

hegemony, where do we turn for relief from such inherently unjust

exploitation? Perhaps we are complicit in our own exploitation, hailed by

the dominating ideology. But at least if we can perceive the forces in

operation we have a hope of, if not changing them, at least supplanting

their pre-eminence within our experiences. If we accept that

institutionalised unpaid labour exploits us, we might attempt to move our

thinking beyond the reproduction of consensus and an existing ethical or

knowledge framework with its inherent transmission of norms of

behaviour.

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Being hired without conventional employment conditions also allows new

behaviours more latitude. We might operate in a sphere beyond the

ethical normative bonds that conventionally tie employee and employer. If

employers have no consideration for ethical responsibilities then there is

likewise no obligation upon 'employees' either. Those of us that find

ourselves in the position of being exploited may discover those methods

by which we might fight back. This fightback may take the form of a

counter-exploitation, worked towards with all guile and determination.

Experiences might be maximised for their links to spheres of experience

hitherto unreachable, their connections exploited, the knowledge that

they purport to convey, stored and turned against itself. Counter-

knowledge used against the discourse that suppresses it. The intern can

become the agent of psychic leaks, disseminating the unconscious of the

organisation beyond its boundaries. They can be the weak link in the

organisation's chain, the porous boundary that opens it up to the

collective sphere of wider social practice that it, by definition, excludes or

captures, setting boundaries to enclose and exploit or else exclude and

suppress. Interns can be a virus that infiltrates the heart of such complex

systems; they can, through their very porosity and covert refusal of

allegiance, affect a larger context by making the exploitation of unpaid

labour no longer a viable option for organisations seeking to shield

themselves from such subversive practices.

But what of a placement that you are instructed to carry out as part of

your course? If you end up working for little, or nothing, in return for

something called a ‘work experience placement’, you might as well try to

make the most of it, right? (“And what makes you think you are the right

person for this unpaid internship?”… “Well, sir, I acquired years of

experience in unpaid internships during my course of study.”) Despite all

your tutor’s good intentions however, you may still find yourself stuffing

envelopes in the backroom office, fetching lunch, or maybe even coffee.

Even if you are suspicious of the very idea of time away from lectures or

other uni-based activities (organising, activism, reading groups or

conferences) in order to work for someone, often full-time, for free, it can

have its benefits. Choose an organisation that is fucking with things. You

can be a spy and a heretic. You can document their ideologies and their

agendas, their intimate dealings, straight from the horses’ mouths. Act

impressionable. Write down quotes. And if you see any companies

publicly advertising for a full-time, unpaid internship, ring them up and

threaten to report them to https://payandworkrights.direct.

gov.uk/complaints - the ‘Pay and Work Rights’ government website - then

see how long the ad stays up.

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71

Postscript.

Who are we? Students, we guess. At least, partly. Multiple voices, opinions

and desires printed cheaply and stapled together at the spine. On second

thoughts, who the fuck are you? Students we guess...? As an antidote to

the institutional amnesia of the university – large numbers of brain cells

flushed out to the job market and the job centre each year, as the new

wave gurgles in – find here some profanities scratched onto cubicle walls.

A partially drawn and badly conceived map of something we do not

understand all the contours of, never could quite work out how all the

partial views fitted together. The problems we face, the things that fuck

us and fuck us off, things we wish we'd thought of earlier. If we have

prevented just one child accepting lollipops from Michael Gove it will have

all been worth it. Failing that, a door wedge is still a use value. Besides, we

worked on it together and the work of engendering a collectivity is what

is needed if we are to become the type of force capable of changing this

entirely fucked and inherently unjust situation. Through a stroke of luck, it

is also that collectivity which supplies the sustenance we need for this

task. We have every faith that you are the person for the (hand)job.

www.studenthandjob.wordpress.com

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